Let me share with you the beauty of listening. Imagine hearing a treasured friend's heart breaking and healing it with your ears. -Geva Thole
Think about your senses for a moment. For most of us, using our senses happens naturally. We love to eat and savor the flavors in our meals. We can instantly be pleased or repulsed by the odor wafting around the room. We see the moment we open our eyes in the morning. And our sense of touch is always present as we notice the feel of the soft, comfortable or rough and restrictive clothes on our bodies. Listening, on the other hand, seems like an art. Sure, we hear sounds all around us, but to truly listen requires an immense amount of concentration.
I recently completed a course offered by The Good Listening Project to obtain my Listener Poet certification. The organization works with health care agencies to create meaningful work environments for staff. Trained Listener Poets meet individually with health care workers for approximately 15 minutes each. Health care workers are invited to talk about something that’s been on their mind lately. It can be anything, from a funny conversation they had with their child that morning to the recent passing of a patient. The Listener Poet listens (obviously) with as few interruptions as possible. I mean really listens, with their whole heart. The poet then creates a poem for the ‘poemee’ capturing the sentiment of their story.
It seems pretty straightforward. But after writing my first couple poems, I reflected on how the process went for me. My expectation was for the writing of the poem to be the tricky part. But it wasn’t. The listening without interrupting was the difficult part. I found myself wanting to tell the poemee a story about my life that built a connection between the two of us. I had to catch myself before I interrupted and said, “You think that’s bad, listen to what happened to me.” I wanted to ask questions instead of waiting for the speaker to feel ready to tell that portion of their story. And this was after taking a course that taught me how to be a good listener.
After more thought, I realized what a beautiful experience it was for the speaker to be truly listened to. I imagine they felt as though I cared about them and believed their story was important.
This got me wondering. What would happen if we all really listened to one another? Would our partner feel like we understood them better? Would our teenagers feel respected and cared for? Would our co-workers feel valued? Would our friends open up to us more often and on a deeper level?
There are a multitude of ways to listen. We can listen to music more carefully and give real thought to the lyrics and feel the rhythm. We can listen attentively to the beautiful sounds of nature to help us feel more connected to the universe. We can listen to what we’re feeling in our heart, as opposed to the myriad of thoughts bouncing around our busy minds. And we can listen to silence when we’re feeling overwhelmed.
Listening is also a beautiful form of meditation. Whether we’re listening to another person or sounds, we’re truly present. We’re not bemoaning the past or worrying about the future.
So, this month, I challenge you. Choose a form of listening and attempt to improve your skills. You don’t have anything to lose. The people in your life may find you more loving, or you might find yourself relishing the present moment.
For more information on The Good Listening Project, visit their website
Send me a message if you’re interested in having a poem written for you, a loved one, or to acknowledge a special event. Contact Geva
Love this! Accepting the challenge!