What Do We Value?
So many of us felt shocked and hopeless on August 27, 2025 when we heard the news about the school shooting at Annunciation Catholic School in Minneapolis. “Not again,” were the first words that came to my mind. It’s hard to believe the number of innocent, young victims who have been murdered, or witnessed murders, over the last decade. Kids are afraid to go to school and teachers are afraid to teach. I don’t think any of us expected this to happen and none of us feel like the problem is being solved, or even worked on.
We’ve heard a lot of support for gun control and better mental health services. I can’t argue with either of those, especially considering I work in the mental health field and see the stigma around getting help and the severity of the illnesses that come through our doors. But it can be difficult to know how we, as citizens, can get involved and feel like we’re making an impact when those are the only two solutions being offered. There’s another solution I haven’t heard much about- changing our culture to reflect values that help keep us safe.
Think about what our country treasures- power, violence, aggression and getting more. We don’t want to wait for anything. We’re more concerned with our own needs than the greater good. I’m not sure how we can overlook all of these as factors that affect people’s mental health, especially those who are already struggling with a mental health disorder that’s difficult to treat.
Each of us plays a vital role in creating culture in our homes, communities and countries. We have the ability to make people feel heard and validated and we can go against mainstream culture and spend our time and raise our children in a way that we know is healthier and better for all of us. Some of the people committing these crimes are seriously ill. Others might be products of our culture.
I fear we live in a country that…
values power and control more than working together and surrendering
has a scarcity mindset and thinks we have to fight for everything we want instead of understanding there’s enough for everyone
values extra money over extra time
values technology more than people
values being busy as a symbol of status more than self-care
judges and compares instead of including and fostering a curiosity about others
values privacy and minding our own business more than getting involved and reaching out
values violence more than the arts, music and creativity
values the future more than staying present and enjoying the moment
wants to escape from reality rather than feeling our true emotions
pushes our children to learn the same content the same way as opposed to meeting them where they are and embracing their differences
I have some theories about why this solution isn’t mentioned more. It’s easier to put the responsibility on others. We want them to fix the problem. But I believe this issue is everyone’s problem. None of us are safe right now. We all carry part of the blame.
This isn’t a feel-good post like I usually write but it is in alignment with all the self-care and mental health concepts I bring forward each week.
The good news is that we do have some control over this unnecessary violence. We can show kindness, listen with an open mind, model self-care and reach out to someone who’s hurting. The recipient of our kind act might be someone on the verge of doing something hurtful.
“How Violent Media Can Affect Your Mental Health” in VeryWellMind
“How to Take Care of Yourself When the World’s On Fire” from the National Council for Mental Health
The Power of Kind - a website devoted to fostering kindness. It’s full of great ideas!
XOXO,
Geva
Geva,
What a beautiful and honest post. I am so grateful you shared it with me in the comments of one of my recent Notes. I am with you here. It's a hard thing to face, but we need to have more conversations like these. It's important to come to a place of mutual respect and dialogue, and it can only happen person by person, one by one. Just know you're not alone. I value these things, too, and I'm glad we can stick together.